I really want to blog about something, but I know that if I post, I'll offend two very important people in my life. This is annoying the frickin' heck out of me. I promised myself that I would only blog about what I felt comfortable with the public knowing. I promised that I'd never make a protected post because, if I can't say it to everyone, I won't say it at all. This has never been a problem before, but tonight, it's driving me crazy.
I hate that this is my blog, and yet I feel like I have to be gentle with other people. Why do I even have my own blog if I'm going to let it be dictated by what will offend my friends and what won't?
Chances are, I won't end up blogging about what I want to blog about. I'll let all the thoughts in my mind just sit there and rot because I care too much about other peoples' feelings. For the sake of everyone else, I will silence my need to get this off my chest.
But why should I? Why do I feel the need to be gentle and cautious? This is my blog, damn it. And I should have the guts to say whatever I want, no matter who it offends. But I don't. I don't want to hurt any feelings or cause any unnecessary drama. So tonight, two lucky men will sleep well knowing that I didn't verbally tear them apart. I can dream, though, that they will both sleep unwell knowing that my lack of ability to express my opinion is driving me to insanity. Killing me slowly, even.
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