I was looking for my pen in my pile of precious junkies (i call it precious junkies because inside the box are things that are considered as junk for others but treasures for me e.g ung balat ng unang double mint na bigay ni bby saken, mga receipts ng things na binili nya 4 me, ung ninenok kong pantali ng buhok nya, atbp, ung iba nga lng, unfortunately, tinapon ni mommy) when I stumbled upon this neatly folded piece of paper. When I opened it, it's a letter I wrote for her a two years ago, when we weren't together yet. I never gave it to her because I wasn't brave enough to do so. Now, as I read it all over again, I feel so blessed because all the pain was worth it. I'd like to share this with you.
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Here goes...
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Dear You,
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There is a voice inside my heart that continues to linger and she tells me to pick myself up no matter how many times and how hard I might fall. Although it is almost impossible for me to try and forget the burning sensation from the tears I cannot wipe away, as I close my eyes she is always with me and her soft whispers remove me from my place of darkness into a world without sorrow. I swear she is you and I wonder why is it you have never given up on me.
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In my mind you are of purity, of warmth and of grace and your fingertips can take away the pain of the ones in your presence and in your touch with ease. You understand pain so well and you always know just where to reach into my heart and it makes me wonder, is it your heart that is broken? Does the blood in your hands from putting the scattered pieces of your broken heart inspired you to continue touching my face because you don't want me to endure the pain you have endured for so long?
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And in my heart I can feel your agony. I can see the beautiful sadness deep inside your eyes. I can see the bittersweet silent look within those eyes and I know while you pretend to go on with each day as if everything is okay, you are slowly falling apart just as much. I know how much it hurts. You put on a mask for the world to see, yet your salty tears are seeping through and causing your mask to gradually perish. When your mask is finally gone, you fear you might fall into an abyss without return.
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Perhaps you find it rather peculiar of me, as you are the voice and I the listener, but the listener has awoken and it is impossible not to fall for you. I need to find a way to touch away your tears, one precious diamond teardrop at a time, however long it may take.
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As I gently unwrap your heart with every tear that i touch, I shall find a way to reach you and finally fall inlove with you. I would ask for you to accept me so you would understand that I acknowledged the sacredness of every fiber of your being and that falling inlove with you is the ultimate form of worship, of desire and sensuality. I hope you close your eyes and surrender as I reach my destination in you.
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Dear You, You are the angel with the broken heart, I want to mend it and love you always. I don't want someone else, for all I want is you, just you and you alone and I shall find beauty within the depths of your broken heart and show you every part of you that makes you beautiful in every way. If ever you fall apart again, I hope you end up falling apart in my arms..
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Always,
Me...üä
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